Friday, July 04, 2008

Nur Syifa Hannah

Where shall i start? Should it be from the beginning and share the joy as well as the sadness? I have carried the pain for 7 years now and everytime i thought about her, i will shed into tears, just like now, while i'm writing about her. You may not know her but i want to share with you my experience in having her in my life. You see, she was special and to me she was the most beautiful baby girl.
She was born on 7 April 2001 at 1330pm at KKH and we named her Nur Syifa Hannah. She was going to be 6 years old today and i'm sure that her birthday party would be a grand one. I could picture her having a blast of time, playing with her sister and brother, her cousins and friends. She would have a big smile on her face and how it would lit up everytime she received presents. I would dressed her in a beautiful gown and taking lots and lots of pictures, at the same time making sure that everything would run smoothly. How i would showed her off to everybody just like i did with my two other children but these are only my dreams. She died on 5 May 2001 at 1345pm at KKH due to multiple complications. I never got the chance to hold her until the day she died. How I held her close to my heart. How i kissed her goodbye. How i whispered to her my love for her and how much i'm going to miss her. I still missed her and i will keep on missing her.
I will always carry a picture of her, in my heart, forever and i never got bored in reminding my two other children about her. My first daughter was only 2 at that time so she does not remember her well while my youngest, not born yet until 2 years later. We will visit her grave as a family everynow and then. She may not be with us but i know deep down inside that she's watching over us. I'm sure she knew that she has a sister and a brother.
Though sad but i know that she's going to be well taken care of 'up there' and one day i will get to see her again.
I may not be able to hold her in my arms again. I may not be able to see her grow up right before my eyes but i'm truly grateful that i had the chance to carry her inside me, share my life with her even for a short while.
I will always love you my dearest daughter, Syifa.....